Sunday, July 20th, 2008...7:17 pm
#48: Child Empowerment
The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they are ensuring their child feels “empowered” beyond all reasonable human (or even god-like) abilities, certain to succeed in this world with little more than their good looks and Mount Rushmore-sized ego.
Let’s face it: is there anything worse than the whole “believe in yourself” movement? Children’s media, education, and parenting techniques are all geared towards convincing our young ones they can succeed almost by self-esteem alone. Forget hard work, lucky breaks, and rich relatives. You just have to set your mind to a certain accomplishment — sort of like programming the Favorites on an Ipod — and then it magically plays out. Except, that’s not how it works. Otherwise, we would all be instant rock stars, astronauts, and the President of Canada (yes, we know they only have a Prime Minister, but empowered children won’t let that stop them).
Sure, building self-esteem is important, but so much of the empowerment movement feels like a kneejerk reaction to the esteem-crushing ’70s and early ’80s, when today’s parents were themselves growing up. On the other hand, a lot of those old latchkey kids turned out just fine. If only the same could be said of this new generation of uber-narcissists. Don’t take our word for it. Just ask anyone with an older child still living at home well into their late 20s and 30s, despite a Costco-sized surplus of post grad degrees and career-making opportunities. Note to Best Parent Ever: you won’t be getting that extra scrapbooking room anytime soon.
So take that, ya lazy-ass Pilgrims and your do-nothing Native American pals! How this incredible modern world was built up from a couple of maize seeds and rotten bark chips without child empowerment classes just baffles the mind of the Best Parent Ever. Too bad they didn’t have Blue from “Blue’s Clues” to find some food at the First Thanksgiving, or Dr. Sears to invent the papoose for the Indians. We’d all be better off by now. In fact, we’d be the Best Parent Ever.
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9 Comments
July 20th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
haha! Have you been reading Parents magazine?
July 20th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
i havent read the post yet and im already smiling..lol just from the picture, the title, and the first sentence LOL
July 22nd, 2008 at 7:01 am
I love the pic!!!!
July 22nd, 2008 at 3:07 pm
ahh, powerful self esteem, can’t you just smell it, the way you used to be able to smell espresso coffee being made at Starbucks before they started making coffee from little tablets?
The schools are contributing mightily to the self esteem movement too. The whole point of my personal parenting philosophy – Good Enough Parenting (click on my screen name for a link to the list of rules) – is that individual children – even yours – aren’t “special” and that self-esteem is an earned benefit not a god given right.
Christian Lander, author and founder of Stuff White People Like put it simply: “good to know a new generation of kids will grow up with a strong sense of self worth and a poor work ethic.”
July 22nd, 2008 at 6:12 pm
You think the whole “believe in yourself” movement is frustrating for parents? Just imagine how frustrating it is for teachers.
I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE this monolithic devotion to “self-esteem” parents and administrators have. It makes it next to impossible to properly teach my students.
Parents, listen to me when I say this. Self-esteem and the ability to like yourself only come when you have done something that makes you likable.
July 23rd, 2008 at 2:24 pm
Okay, I’ll admit it–I’m hardcore in the “empowerment” department.
I don’t think the issue is empowering children to believe in themselves. I think the issue is the disconnect that a lot of children (and adults) have between *wanting* something and the hard work that it takes to be something. Believing that they can earn an ‘A’ is a far cry from earning that ‘A’. Empowering a child is making sure they know that they *can* do it if they work hard enough.
The best way we can teach our children those things is by modeling them well ourselves. There’s also a huge difference between empowering your child and teaching them that they are better than others (or know better than their teachers).
Scrapbooking? Who has time for that?
July 26th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
“…but so much of the empowerment movement feels like a kneejerk reaction to the esteem-crushing ’70s and early ’80s, when today’s parents were themselves growing up. On the other hand, a lot of those old latchkey kids turned out just fine. If only the same could be said of this new generation of uber-narcissists. Don’t take our word for it. Just ask anyone with an older child still living at home well into their late 20s and 30s…”
LOL. Um, you know the people who grew up in the late 70s/early 80s are in their late 20s and 30s now, right? So I guess the old latchkey kids from those days aren’t do quite so well.
January 12th, 2009 at 2:58 am
Put all the belief in yourself in one hand and take a crap in the other. See which hand has more in it.
January 31st, 2009 at 12:54 pm
If you haven’t yourself experienced the joy of your brand new 18-year old employee setting their sights on taking over your boss’s job in less than 2 years, then you’re lucky.
If you’d like to know what this looks like, just watch any of the auditions on American Idol. For most of these kids, the shock displayed on their faces when they learn that they have the singing talents of a drowning cat is completely genuine. They have been set up to believe that there is no way they weren’t going to be declared the next Idol right on the spot. Forget the whole contest, we found our guy/girl already!
After Randy and Paula finally contain their uproarious laughter and mocking gestures, Simon hits them with a little dose of reality that is not all that subtle. It usually goes like:
Simon: “Who told you that you could sing?”
Snivelly Kid: “My music teacher….”
Simon: “They’re lying to you and they should be fired. You shouldn’t even sing in the shower.”
Snivelly Kid: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! My music teacher would never take my money then lie to my face. Simon, you’re just jealous because you can’t sing. You’ll see! This time next year, I’m going to dominate the music charts. I’ll use my money to buy your company and fire you.”
Snivelly kid cries on Ryan Seacrest’s shoulder, cusses out Simon on their “loser cam,” then disappears into oblivion.
*ronin dies with maniacal laughter while humming “Another One Bites The Dust”*