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Monday, April 14th, 2008...4:54 pm

#25: Puppies…(Rescued)


The Best Parent is better than you because they didn’t just buy their dog at Petco or even a local breeder. They “rescued” their pet. In the old days, this used to be known as “taking in a stray.” But the Best Parent needs everything to sound so much more fashionably heroic, as if that helpless schnauzer was wrenched from the jaws of death — say a raging river or the clutches of a grizzly bear — by a Best Parent with little more than a Bugaboo and a sippy cup filled with soy milk.

No doubt, saving little Toto or Benji from euthanasia at the shelter is a noble deed. But the point of being the Best Parent is not so much to be noble, as to let everyone KNOW you are noble. Thus, the white parent will always make you aware that the slobbering fleabag at their side is no ordinary “mutt” — a term that has never passed their lips, by the way. No, this brave hound is “a rescue,” a canine whose sole existence and survival in this world is due to the white parent’s benevolence. It is an act of extreme generosity akin to what Mother Teresa did for her lepers, or perhaps even Moses and the Israelites. Indeed, sainthood for the white parent dog owner is just a few milkbones and pooper scoopers away.

So take that, four-leggers everywhere! Unless you’ve been “rescued” by the white knights of Best Parenthood, you are little more than chum for the dog catcher. Yes, life truly is a bitch. Unless you’re the Best Parent, who chooses instead to call it a “rescue.”

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  • “Rescuing” a dog is a good way of getting your children “bitten” by a dog that has never been around kids. If parents want a dog they should raise it from pup with children around and not take in a dog with its habits formed. If you rescue a puppy and raise it then fine but don’t take in a adult dog w/ kids around too many variables.

  • I get at least 2 chain mail- style emails a week from friends that are “best” parents AND animal lovers pleading to donate money or to “save spot” or similar type shite… I am nauseated by it so maybe I am not a “best” parent because I view a dog as another kid and 1.0 children is enough for me!

  • @JoseOle the folks at shelters generally have a good idea of all their dogs temperaments and while there can be no guarantee that any dog would never bite a person they probably wouldn’t let a family with children adopt a dog who wasn’t comfortable around kids. They don’t want the dog coming back to them and they certainly don’t want the dog to end up being “destroyed”.

  • PitPoodle = stereotype this website is based on,
    JoseOle= Realist

  • Honestly, they would advise the family that it wasn’t a good idea, but some people don’t listen and would adopt the animal anyway. Then, when it bites the child, they start yelling at the people at the shelter for adopting the animal out to them, whether they were warned or not.

  • I had dogs my entire life, got bit a few times and yet my life continues, and I still love my dogs. The bigger the better.

    I’d also like to note that I’ve been bitten by some humans too, and not in the kinky fun way. We all got teeth, and they was made for bitin’. Welcome to earth.

  • rescuing a puppy no more makes me a BPE than roasting one on a spit makes me a hillbilly.

    JoseOle – there is name for someone who would blithely bring a “bitey” dog home from the shelter: idiot.

  • For the record:
    PitPoodle’s comment was based on years of volunteering (starting as a teenager) at a very real no-kill shelter.

  • Isn’t it ‘horses for courses’. Some people do not want to go through all the problems associated with a puppy. More power to them. Like PitPoodle I also volunteer at a dog shelter, that unfortunately is not a ‘no kill shelter’. I don’t care whether people call it adoption, rescuing or just taking in a stray, we need good homes for the dogs that we assess suitable for rehousing.

    We live in what I call a ‘notch in the belt’ city. Military, mining and government workers do their tour of ‘hardship’ duty here for 3-5 years and then move back to more comfortable climates and the ‘big smoke’. When they leave, many of these people dump their dogs and cats at our refuge for us to be judge, jury, warder and too many times executioner.

    The end of the calender year is the worst, as that is when most transfers happen.

    So, I care that dogs are rehoused with appropriate people or families. That they look after the dog and realise that they are responsible for the dog for the rest of the dogs life.

    What really find irrelevant is what they call the process of rehousing.

  • The other thing I am annoyed with is the people who put me on a pedestal or nearly beatify me, because volunteer at the shelter. I do it for very selfish reasons. I no longer have any dogs and I have moved into a ‘no pet apartment’. I get my dog ‘fix’ by walking dogs at the refuge a couple of times per week.

  • I know a few “Best Parents Ever” at my work, and rather than “rescue” dogs, they get their purebreds imported from interstate – bought and paid for before the dog is even born! But of course it’s worth it, the parents were both “champion” breeders, and a staffy is obviously a great companion for an 16 month old…

  • How about those “purebred” designer breeds. “Skippy is a purebred Poo-Tzu. She cost $700” Congratulations, you just spend $700 on a mutt. Breeding a poodle and a shi-tzu will not make poo-tzu. It makes poodle-shi tzu mixes. Which I call Shit-poos. If you breed a labradoodle and a labradoodle, you do not get more labradoodles. You get varying degrees of poodle and Lab.

  • REALLY? Getting angry at someone for pointing out that they rescued their pet? I am not a parent at all, nor a “best ___ ever” keep-up-with-the-jonses type. I’m a veterinarian, and I’ve dedicated my life to helping animals. And the most productive way to help is to EDUCATE people about the overpopulation problem. Buying dogs & cats is NOT cool. AT all. Paying hundreds for your “designer” mutt makes you a fool, not the best parent ever (responding to a comment, not the blog). And when I see people falling in love with my boxer and asking where I bought him or am I breeding him… I take that opportunity to tell them that he is a 2-time rescue. This proves to them that there are plenty of pure-breeds out there who will die if not rescued… not to mention the savings of hundreds of dollars and NOT supporting the slimy “breeders” who make money at the expense of millions of healthy euthanized dogs every year.

    JoseOle… your views are completely ignorant. Stop acting like you know anything about animal behavior. Any good rescue will supply a family with the pet’s history and will have it temperament-tested. This is no guarantee, but neither is raising from puppyhood. No dog can be trusted 100% just as no human can be. But we do have such things as TRAINING classes for pups and family (the most important part of which is to train the PEOPLE how to properly raise the dog and how to behave around it), AND classes on introducing a new pet to a baby and vice-versa. It does not take a genius to make it a win-win situation.

    There are a finite number of dog homes at any given time, and if you give that home to a bought dog, you have sentenced a pound dog to death. And you have made the breeder/store profit, which makes them produce more.

    On a final note, ALL pet stores get their animals from puppy mills, by definition. No good breeder would sell to a store OR ship a pet OR sell a pet to someone they have not met.*see link. So much for the thousand-dollar teacup yorkie with patellar luxations, cryptorchidism, a mouth full of deciduous teeth that remain into adulthood, and a portosystemic shunt requiring a $4,000 surgery to MAYBE survive.

    So, back to your hatred of people who will stand up and educate the masses on their cause. I suppose that idea is over your head. Instead of spending your time spreading the word about how to make this world a better place, you go ahead cutting people down because that’s the only thing you have to feed your fragile ego.

    Oh sorry, I lied… one more thing. Ken… you’re a strange one. So YOU are angry at people for giving you compliments? Besides, in one sentence you expressed concern over the animals’ welfare, and in your next comment you act like you don’t. Well either way, you’re a boob for not caring, or you’re a boob for trying to make it look like you don’t care. There are a lot easier ways of getting a “dog fix,” and your job is a tough one for anyone with a soul. So stop trying to not look like a pussy, and stand up for something for once. And no, I do not have any less love for the “bought” dogs. I LOVE dogs, and that means all of them. The people causing the problem (buyers & sellers) are who I hate.


    from a two time georgia-ditch-dog rescuing, tattooed, blogging mama of a co-sleeping, homemade baby food eating, sling-loving, cloth diaper wearing, neo-hippy, attached, britax carseat riding, kiddo. take that.

    you might hate my dog, joseole, but he would still drag your ass from a burning building.

    though i may try to disuade him…

  • If you’re trying to say that rescuing pets is wrong or conceited, you are a complete fuck-up. Don’t trash good organizations in the name of deprecating the White race.

  • Ha ha! I am a total dog rescuer & shelter volunteer and I am not offended in the least! Your blog is extremely funny and I am very sorry that people do not understand sarcasm. Keep up the good work…my 2 rescue uber-hunds and I enjoy a little wit with our shade-grown coffee every morning!

    P.S. My hubby and I tried once to maintain a humorous blog a few years ago. It was an Epic Fail, so I commend you for your efforts! Here’s to wishing people GET IT.

  • I’m the kind of parent this blog makes fun of (I do find it funny, BTW) and I had the hardest time trying to adopt a dog from the shelter. Never mind that I’ve managed to keep 2 human children alive; apparently, as the shelter people told me, “A dog may not be the right pet for my family” because we actually believe it’s okay for an animal to spend time alone in the fenced-in backyard. They also wanted to know, in the 3-page adoption application, how much I planned to spend per month on dog toys. Ummmmm, most months other than December and birthday months, I don’t spend any money on toys for my CHILDREN, let alone on dogs. That’s what sticks and old pieces of rope are for. Anyway, we ended up geting a dog from a family who couldn’t take care of him anymore–he was headed to the shelter anyway, but we didn’t have to prove anything to get him. Now the local papers are full of stories about how overcrowded the shelters are. Maybe if they made it a little easier to adopt a dog, they wouldn’t have that problem. BTW, our dog is perfectly happy, as “unfit” as our family may be.

  • Um, good point of view.