The Best Parent Ever realizes that every precious sapling has within it a demon seed; a progeny that defies even their fine-tuned sense of domestic engineering.  That’s why some say “it takes a village to raise a child.”  Unless you’re the Best Parent Ever, in which case you say: “I’m hiring Parenting Coach!” And why […]

The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they never cut their toddler’s hair. This is most noticeable amongst young boys (see above). Since when did all the Best Parents insist their male children run around playgrounds like miniature versions of long-forgotten heavy-metal stars and grunge bands? Hey, “Welcome to the Jungle Gym,” little […]

The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they don’t just buy their children stuffed animals — they buy them Webkinz. And lots of them. Sometimes 20 or more. What, you few non-best parents ask, is a Webkinz? Imagine a Beanie Baby that is not just obnoxious and overpriced in the real world — […]