Monday, May 19th, 2008...6:10 pm
#34: Overdressing at the Playground
There are two kinds of moms in the world: those who wear sweats in public, and the Best Parent Ever, who would never be caught outside the house in anything but full make-up, designer clothes, and heels.
Of course, some may admire the Best Parent’s effort to overcome the saggy-baggy doldrums of motherhood while on a simple kiddy-run to the playground. But is it really worth the effort of tottering perilously through the sandbox in heels like a drunken sailor? Or ducking spastically like a limbo-party reject beneath the metal loops of the jungle gym to preserve one’s freshly-styled coif?
Yes, of course it is. Because no matter how painful or clumsy it may appear, the Best Parent’s stylish get-up is specifically engineered to make all the other sweatpants-wearing parents nearby feel even more fat, ugly, and hopeless than they already feel. This once again proves that the Best Parent Ever is not only better than you, they are “hotter” too.
So take that, Old Mother Hubbard, with your dowdy get-up and practical childrearing fashions. The Best Parent Ever may not be able to sprint over in time to stop their cublings from careening headfirst off the curly climber, but at least they will look good, in a trashy, MILF kind of way.
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13 Comments
May 20th, 2008 at 2:39 am
How can you show us a picture of the knee-high boots, without showing us the whole body attached to them. I feel cheated
May 20th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
oh, so you’ve been to the playground in my neighbourhood???
Sometimes, when dropping my kids off for school the 9AM MILF parade looks like the 11PM line up in front of a dance club.
And you must have seen the BPE guide to explain your cosmetic surgery to your kids?
http://www.mybeautifulmommy.com/
May 20th, 2008 at 4:58 pm
That’s a typical day in the life of a North Scottsdale Mom. I have to pick up my lil brother from the elitist pre-school and can’t belive how these women come in to pick up their kids from the playground. I’m talking double D fakie’s, Porsche SUV’s and designer bags bigger then a Mini Cooper.
Gotta love the momma who after rustling up 3 boys into her Porsche SUV can manage to still make the average man want to get a divorce!
She was probable driving this car…
http://platenuts.com/?p=67
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:37 pm
lol some people over dress EVERYWHERE! annoying much, its like they want to be the center of unnecessary attention
good post
May 27th, 2008 at 5:39 pm
agree. enjoy your writing style and content!
May 30th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Did anyone else going to the “My Beautiful Mommy” website notice the buttons at the topic look like a bunch of penises???
June 5th, 2008 at 5:33 pm
NORTH SCOTTSDALE MOMS!!! ahahaa I am a lowly phoenix mom, and yes, I know these women all too well.
June 7th, 2008 at 1:00 am
I was just laughing at one of those moms Thursday.
My kids were laughing at her too.
June 18th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
Love this blog!!! Someone finally had to guts to say what a lot of people think! Love it love it love it!!
June 19th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
There’s a third kind of mom out there, and I’m it. I don’t leave the house in sweats or any kind of pants due to religious beliefs (I only wear skirts or dresses). I own one pair of sweats and the only time they are on me is when I ski in the winter. So when I go to the park I am in a skirt or a dress and a cute pair of flat shoes. I also like to make sure my hair doesn’t look like a rat’s nest. I hope that isn’t overdressed!! LOL I’m no high-maintanance momma, I just like to look pretty and neat when I leave the house.
June 19th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Forgot to add….yeah, the huge heels and fancy nails/clothes are really pathetic at a playground. Makes me wonder if she’s trolling or something. LOL
September 13th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
I’m an engineering geek, and this didn’t change when I became a mom. As a certified engineering geek, I have never seen the point of high heeled shoes (I wore flats to my wedding), white pants, lacy things, or purses. My mind just boggles at the amount of energy exhausted by moms trying to outdo each other. And for what? So that my grimy handed kids can use me as their personal towel? Sure, I throw on the suit as needed for work. But when I go to a playground, I talk to the nannies and the dads. The moms treat me like a pariah because I don’t play the game, and that is just fine with me.
November 12th, 2008 at 2:45 am
I’ve been to the playground in heels, makeup, etc. It’s not to be snooty. It’s because I am busy and still want to play with my children in between the other things I have to do. Maybe everyone doesn’t have the luxury of being able to look like a slob 24/7.