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Entries from August 2008

Saturday, August 23rd, 2008

#53: Hating Cows

What does the Best Parent Ever have against cows? To enter a BPE household is to discover a world without dairy. There is soy milk, rice milk, and almond milk, along with similarly-derived cheese-like products that often have the epicurean appeal of toilet grouting. For most of us, there is either cheese or “Cheez,” preferably […]

Wednesday, August 13th, 2008

#52: Natural Childbirth

The Best Parent Ever is better than you because they birthed their child in such a better way than you, which is why your child will fail at everything they will ever do. But not really. All your children will grow up to hate you by the time they are teenagers, whether they were expelled […]

Friday, August 8th, 2008

#51: The Super Parent Show

The Best Parent Ever is not only better than you, they are master thespians, capable of presenting a powerful “dramatic” work at the slightest hint of another adult’s judgemental eye. Haven’t we all had to sit through a command performance of “The Super Parent Show?” It’s working title is actually: “Watch Me Parent Better Than […]