Thursday, March 20th, 2008...3:36 pm
#11: The No-TV Rule
The Best Parent will be more than happy to inform you that their child does not watch TV. They’ll recite statistics about how TV causes Autism, ADD, and even chronic psoriasis. Of course, they’ve heard these “facts” from other Best Parents, who are competing just as hard to prove they are the more proficient pro-creator by displaying an even greater disdain for the world of broadcasting.
To hear Best Parents speak, one might think hapless TV inventor Philo Farnsworth took his orders directly from Satan
, and then passed them straight to the Children’s Television Workshop and that little dog in Blues Clues. The message was clear: DESTROY THE YOUNG CHILD’S MIND. Only the Best Parent was smart enough (and better than everyone else enough) to see through this global conspiracy of smart-mouthed puppets and badly-animated action toys. The Best Parent alone ensures that their child only reads great works of literature from the moment the child climbs out of its birthing tub, or off the adoption agency plane from China.
To be a proper Best Parent, however, it is not only imperative to spout the destructive natures of cathode rays. One must also secretly watch copious amounts of TV when no other parents are around, save for those on their Yahoo Parenting Group, who will fill them in on the latest plot twists of Grey’s Anatomy and American Idol.
After all, who do you think is buying these costly DVRs, Blu Ray players, and flat screen TVs? Is it the non-best parent? (Insert canned laughter here from the sitcoms the Best Parent NEVER watches.)
So take that, viewers of the single most prevalent medium in the entire world! The revolution may be televised, but the Best Parent will only read about it tomorrow in the New York Times or on some ridiculous blog.
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24 Comments
March 21st, 2008 at 2:04 am
Lol so many white parents do this.for the rest of us tv = babysitter
http://www.anythingblack.wordpress.com
March 21st, 2008 at 5:54 am
Now, what exactly does the color of your skin or race have to do about T.V watching?
March 26th, 2008 at 1:52 am
LOL I truly get it. A certain member of my family is not allowed to watch tv, age 4
March 26th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
I know people who do this, the ironic thing was they only let their kid watch the Little Einstein videos that are worse for kids than cartoons. This is spot on as well.
March 27th, 2008 at 12:14 am
I don’t get it, is Barack Obama also white? Or he is black enough?
“Children can’t achieve unless we raise their expectations and turn off the television sets and eradicate the slander that says a black youth with a book is acting white,” said Obama in the 2004 Democratic National Convention speech that catapulted him to national prominence. (see it here: http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/Vote2008/story?id=4524005&page=1)
March 27th, 2008 at 12:16 am
More:
“Before this year’s New Hampshire primary, Obama included the theme of parental responsibility in a television ad. “We need parents to turn off the television and instill in our children a sense of excellence.”
Hey, you seem to be shooting at your brother, huh?
March 27th, 2008 at 10:55 pm
wow, are you racist or something?
March 30th, 2008 at 3:13 am
Yes, but many white parents buy all sorts of educational DVDs and park their children in front of the flat-screen TV to watch.
April 3rd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
1 for 11.
April 4th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
THE WHITE PARENT SAYS:
“No…? Why do you ask? The ABOUT section explains this. Being a WHITE PARENT is more a state of mind and finances than a skin color or ethnicity
the reason keep pointing this out is because you are equating good partent to white parent. That is racist, even though your intent may not be your actions are. Perhaps you should call the blog stuffsnobbyparentslike or stuffboosieparentslike or something that does not imply that white parents treat their kids better than non-white ones.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Dear White Parents. I think your No-Tv rule is so crazy. Everyone knows the proper way to raise kids is to beat thier behinds. If you don’t do this they will end up in London working as prostitues for 130 dollars an hour.
April 14th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
Dear White Parents. I think your No-Tv rule is so crazy. Everyone knows the proper way to raise kids is to beat thier behinds. If you don’t do this they will end up in London working as prostitues for 130 dollars an hour.
http://aniggaincyberspace.com/2008/04/11/black-nerd-revolution/
May 23rd, 2008 at 12:58 am
Whoa, whoa, WHOA!!! Adoption agencies have their own plane???
No wonder it costs like $25,000.00 to pick up a baby, living in a mud hut, eating flies and sand.
The money sure as hell ain’t goin’ towards making the biological parents’ lives any better. They oughta be thankful that people are even taking these kids and giving them a better life.
They oughta give away free babies with every 10 gallons purchase of gas.
May 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I’d rather spend the time with my kids (esp outside) than turn on the tube at night. Yeah, so they’re being deprived of the opportunity to be zombified. At least I’m parenting… and frankly, paying less in electricity’s not a bad thing. The air OUTSIDE is still breathable, so play! Snow doesn’t kill ya, you need vitamin D, and testing insect repellents not a bad thing…
May 29th, 2008 at 5:04 am
THANK YOU MISS THING!
Yeah, like not letting your child watch TV is about “proving” something . . . put your kids in front of the boob tube all you want, see how they turn out.
June 6th, 2008 at 12:22 am
our whole family has this rule…except during college football season–the only 4 months we have cable.
June 26th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
I think what he/she’s trying to say about the no TV rule is that a lot of parents brag about how smart their kid is because he doesn’t watch TV. He’s not saying not watching TV is bad.
July 29th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Let me tell you something. My daughter watches TV in the evenings before or after dinner. During the day at school they dont watch any T.V.
She is incredibly smart, she is very active – loves the outdoors and she can speak words in fuckin’ spanish. Thank you Dora and Diego… And she KNOWS the translation not just parroting the word…
She can kick. your. ass. at a VSmile video game too – totally educational – non- violent.
I think the thing is balance. Balance so its not excessive.
September 13th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
I wonder how many parents like me are driven into sanctimommy mode by being treated like freaks. We don’t have cable, and currently we don’t own a TV. We watch maybe 1 DVD a week using the computer monitor as our TV.
We don’t do this because we think our kids will be smarter, or we want to avoid ADD, or whatever. We just hate TV. It’s boring and it sucks, and commericals are obnoxious. I used to enjoy commercial TV (RIP X-files), but over the last 7 years or so I have found that there is just nothing, outside of some geeky Nova specials, that I have any interest in watching. So we just fell out of the habit, and that happened to coincide with the arrival of kids.
Now if you mention (in response to the 70th person in a day who asks what you thought of American Idol) that you don’t watch TV, either you are treated as if “Oh, you’re just so much better than me. I could never do that”, or “Your kids are going to be social misfits” or some other judgement. If I said “I don’t ski” or “I don’t like rollerblading” no one would bat an eyelash. But not liking TV – that is akin to heresy.
March 31st, 2009 at 4:40 am
To quote:
Josh
April 4th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
“THE WHITE PARENT SAYS:
“No…? Why do you ask? The ABOUT section explains this. Being a WHITE PARENT is more a state of mind and finances than a skin color or ethnicity
the reason keep pointing this out is because you are equating good partent to white parent. That is racist, even though your intent may not be your actions are. Perhaps you should call the blog stuffsnobbyparentslike or stuffboosieparentslike or something that does not imply that white parents treat their kids better than non-white ones.”
I don’t really think that any of the implied treatment here is “better” than what a non Best Parent Ever gives their child.
Most of this is so stupid and self-absorbed that I am thankful that my parents didn’t do things like this to me.
They aren’t treating their children better when they throw $5k 1st birthday parties or forbid them from Sesame Street or structure a ‘play date’ for their kids.